Blog of Jami Bryan

As I opened my blog just now, I was confronted with the fact that I haven’t blogged since February.  I knew it had been awhile, but I didn’t want to realize it had been quite that long.

Why haven’t I been writing?  Well, I’ve been thinking.  And thinking about writing.  But I haven’t felt ready to commit anything to cyberspace.

I’m still trying to wrap my mind around what blogs mean for discourse.  I am seeing changes in the interactions with my LIBS101 students because of the course blog.  And strangely, I am seeing changes in my own mental discourse because of this blog.  I see things, and read things, and think about writing about these things.  But I am still caught up in the idea that what I write must be perfect.  It must represent a fully formed thought.  And not much is fully formed for me right now.

Perhaps I should treat this blog more like a conversation than a finished piece.  For those of you who know me in person, you know that I love conversations.  I am a talker.  And I think through things by talking.  But most of my writing, other than bad teenage attempts at poetry and late-night dear diary rants, have been quite formal.  I struggle for the perfect word, the perfect turn of a phrase, the perfect transitions.  Things I never, ever do in speaking.  I tend towards little self-censoring when I speak (again, those of you who know me in person know this - I have sputtered out some doozies in my time).  When talking, when conversing, I am happy to just let things flow.  Perhaps blogging requires reaching some happy medium - a little conversation and a little revision?

So, dear readers, bear with me as I work through all of this.  I am sure the answer is somewhere between a blog post every three months and daily streams of consciousness.  While I tend never to be a moderate, I’m searching for the middle.  Hope to see you there.

Of late, lots of librarian bloggers have been answering the question “Why am I a librarian?”. What is interesting to me about that question is how “present” your response must be. I read the question not as “why did you become a librarian” but as “why are you still a librarian?”.

I thought my response to this question might be worth posting here. Mostly because it helped me focus on my true goals and not on the frustrations that often encompass my day. And, on a lonely Saturday in the Library, it reminded me why I am sitting here in the first place.

So, “Why am I a librarian?”.

I am a librarian because I enjoy helping people. But I also like earning my living doing something that helps further knowledge, that supports education, openness and equality, and that isn’t solely about making rich people and corporations richer. I am a librarian in an academic library because I believe that access to higher education can change a person’s life for the better and because I enjoy being part of a collegial and inquisitive environment. I am a library manager because I want to inspire at least one person as I have been inspired and I want to create opportunities for growth and learning for my staff as opportunities have been created for me. I am also a library manager because a woman can and should excel in leadership positions traditionally dominated by men.

Any other librarians interested in answering? I’d love to hear your responses. Over at Tame the Web they have have created a survey asking folks why they are librarians. I’d also be interested in hearing from anyone else about why they are still professors or instructional technologists or students or (insert your occupation here).

so my big plan was to watch ocean’s thirteen last night. on a whim, i got it from one of those red rental things in the grocery store. which means i was supposed to return it today (why i have a roving rental eye and don’t just stick with netflix, i’ll never know) so i was under a bit of a time constraint.

but my libs101 students had topic declarations for their pathfinder projects due yesterday. and i was curious to see what topics they chose. i thought i could give them a read and post grades to blackboard in under an hour and still watch my movie. i thought this because i had no intention of commenting on their topic posts.

on monday, i posted an announcement to the course blog stating that if they didn’t hear from me personally about a problem with their topic and they got a grade in blackboard, all was well. i was really hesitant to comment on their topics because i didn’t want to publicly discuss something tied to their grade that could possibly need revision on their part. what if they had picked a topic that was too broad or not workable? i wouldn’t want to say that in a public comment. i didn’t want to call anyone out. so i decided that i wouldn’t comment on any topics at all.

but i came across a student post about really liking the discussion aspect of course blogging, and that got me thinking. i really like the discussion aspect as well (which is one of the reason we are using blogs) and i enjoyed commenting on the student’s introductory posts. their posts put a face and a personality with a name and gave me insights into their needs that normally would have taken most of the semester, if we were lucky enough for it to happen at all. i also wondered if by commenting on their first post, i had set an expectation that i would comment on future posts.

i realized that i had started a dialogue with them and i didn’t want to lose that. so i set about commenting on their topics. it took a while, even though my comments were often short. and i lucked out because there was no need to call anyone out. i missed the movie, but i think it was well worth it. 20 undergrads beat george out for my attentions.

i am curious how other teachers deal with these issues. anyone out there have any thoughts?

At some point during the ELI Conference this week, I decided that I needed to blog along with my students in LIBS101. I often say that I won’t ask anything of my staff that I wouldn’t do myself - so why should my relationship with my students be any different? Why should they blog when I don’t?

Now, of course, I maintain the course blog as the instructor. But that is more about course management and instructional content than about what is so personal and intimate about “blogging”. It is about what the technology of the blog makes possible and not about being a voice among voices in the larger community.

In a related “awakening” this week, I also decided that I would try to take my course along with my students. While this is not entirely possible or desirable (I have a feeling I would have a decided advantage on the Final Exam!), my goal is to try the blogging assignments out for myself. My students have to post an introduction, a topic and 14 entries for their Pathfinder Project, and a farewell. I intend to do the same.

The decision to blog seems sound to me. The decision to do my own Pathfinder Project is one I am not entirely sure about. I can see some great value in experiencing the course from another angle, but I also don’t want my project to over-influence the projects of the students. There may be some ways around this, such as posting after the due dates or not aggregating my posts to the course blog. I’ll have to work this out and will ask for student input.

As this is my first post, I feel like I should give some intro or background - that I should be setting the scene a bit. But I think I will save that for later. And I will have lots to post about ELI as soon as it all forms in my head (I haven’t had much time for reflection since I got back). Stay tuned!